Calladita te ves más bonita.
If you’re Latina, you’ve probably heard that phrase more times than you can count. It translates to you’re prettier when you’re quiet.
There’s a lot wrong with that short phrase.
And yet, it’s something I’ve used many times. As a jab at other people, in that this-is-a-joke-but-not-really kind of way. But mostly I’ve said it to myself. It sneaks out when I think I’ve said something dumb or I’m thinking something I know I shouldn’t say. It’s easy to laugh it off and think, well, this saying is popular for a reason.
My guest this week,
, just came out with her book called Calladita No More, a direct challenge to that old refrán. She centers her book on Latinx culture and weaves in refranes (those popular sayings that cross borders) to anchor the lessons she’s learned in her career.I was out on a run, listening to the audiobook, when one of Hady’s refranes made me stop and rewind.
Santo que no te quiere, con no rezarle basta — if a saint doesn’t like you, not praying to him is enough. Basically, not everyone’s gonna like you, so don’t waste your energy on someone who doesn’t care.
I laughed when I heard it. Probably because I’ve always been a little irreverent when it comes to religion, and the idea of just ignoring a saint because they’re being a judgemental asshole felt appropriate.
But that’s not the refran I know, and when I landed on the comparable one ingrained in my psyche, I had this very strong “eww why have I always been saying this?” moment.
Hady is Puerto Rican, I’m from El Salvador. When I think about someone not liking me, I think: “No soy monedita de oro para caerle bien a todos” — I’m not a gold coin, so not everyone’s gonna want me.
Both sayings point to the same thing, right? Not everyone will like you and that’s okay. But there’s something fundamentally different about them that I couldn’t shake.
The gold coin one centers on you. You’re not shiny enough, not valuable enough, not… enough. It quietly puts your worth into question. And if I’m being honest with myself, every time I used it I always secretly thought but I want to be a gold coin.
The saint one? That’s a shrug, a boundary, a fuck you, then. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. See the difference?
Believe me, I know I’m not perfect. None of us are. I’m messy. My closet looks like a bomb went off, walking into my apartment sometimes feels like navigating an obstacle course of Amazon boxes (yes, I buy too much shit from Amazon, not proud of it). I hit snooze so many times in the morning I’m convinced my neighbors secretly hate me. I can procrastinate, I live with anxiety and fear, and sometimes that paralyzes me.
But I’m also kind. I put myself in other people’s shoes. I make people laugh, I love with my whole heart, and I will always show up when someone I care about needs me. I like bringing people together and have created the most wonderful bands of misfits.
I am not a gold coin, but I’m fucking golden and who are you to tell me otherwise?
We’re all golden.
And even if some fake saint doesn’t like you (a saint for god’s sake, someone who’s supposed to be evolved and compassionate), well, that’s their problem.
I’m not saying a saying defines your confidence. That comes from a mix of who you are and what you’ve lived through. But the stuff we hear over and over does sink in and shapes how we show up. I’m choosing to get on the Puerto Rican vibe about this going forward. Hady has that nailed. She’s bold, courageous, and doesn’t let others determine how she sees herself.
As for being calladita, I learned a while ago that there’s nothing pretty about staying quiet when you should be loud. When you should be taking up space. When you should be using your voice.
In this episode, Hady and I are definitely not quiet. We talk about her journey from corporate to entrepreneur, the lessons that shaped her, and why she chose to write the book she wished she’d had when she was younger. We get into the messy middle of building a business, the sad landscape of diversity, equity and inclusion today, and what it really takes to stay bold and keep going.
Calladita no more, indeed.
Abrazos,
M.
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🎥 Want to see our lovely faces?
This episode is also available on YouTube! (More video episodes are coming soon, I just need to get them ready and post).
✨ About Hady Mendez:
Hady Mendez is a NY-based bestselling author, Latina speaker, and ERG coach. She currently serves as the Director of Programs for Lean In Latinas. She is also the founder and CEO of Boldly Speaking LLC, a company that is transforming the professional experiences of underestimated professionals by providing them with the skills to rise and thrive in the corporate world or in whatever path they choose.
With a diverse career spanning over twenty-five years, Hady has served as head of equality for a major tech firm, held multiple customer-facing roles in high tech and financial services, served as a leader and advisor across various ERGs, dedicated two years to working with incarcerated and formerly incarcerated women internationally, and served as Community School Director at an elementary school in the South Bronx.
Hady is a Latinas in Tech Luminarias 2022 honoree, a Women of ALPFA 2023 Latinas to Watch, a 2024 LinkedIn Top Coaching & Mentoring Voice, and the recipient of HACE’s 2025 Mujer Maravilla Award.
🗂 From the Archives
Hady is my first repeat guest on the podcast (yay!) and honestly, that feels really special. When I think back to those early days — her episode “Sh*t, I Found My Calling” was only the 7th interview I ever aired — it’s pretty wild to realize this show has grown to the point where I get to circle back with people who believed in it from the start. I’m not planning on turning this into a “repeat guest” podcast, but catching up with Hady now, after all she’s done, feels like the right kind of full circle.
And since we’re talking about books and silence, I can’t help but think of my conversation with Elaine Lin Hering. Fun fact — Hady and I met Elaine at the book conference we talk about in this episode. I was there to give Elaine an award, and I cried my way through it because her definition of silence just hit me so hard. Elaine’s work on unlearning silence has stayed with me ever since, and her episode (“Sh*t, Silence Hurts”) ties beautifully into this week’s conversation.
You can listen to both episodes here:
Sh*t, I Found My Calling — with Hady Mendez
Sh*t, Silence Hurts — with Elaine Lin Hering
👑 That’s it for today!
Remember: you’re golden, even if some fake saint can’t see it.
