I’ve been thinking a lot about something my guest said this week.
It’s the question that led her to pack up her car and drive to a new city — with no job and no plan:
How do you want to live your life right now?
She didn’t ask herself “How do I want to live five years from now?” or “When I retire?”
Because, as she put it:
“You’re tired now. You think you’re not gonna be tired at 65?”
Mind. Blown. 🤯
It’s not that the idea of being tired as we age is revolutionary — it’s obvious. What blew my mind was realizing how rarely we question it. Why do we normalize delaying the things we want without ever questioning what that “later” actually looks like? Why do we keep pushing off the life we want, assuming we’ll magically have more energy, time, money, or courage…later?
I’ll do what I want when…
I get the promotion. Or the new job.
The kids have grown.
I lose those 10 pounds I’ve been meaning to lose for, oh, the last 20 years (which, if I’m being honest, was my excuse for not getting back into the dating game for years).
Maybe — deep down — we don’t think we deserve the life we want.
And yes, there are real-life logistics to consider. But the question still stands. And I think it’s a good one.
This week, I talk with Heidi Monika Romer — someone whose story reminds me that reinvention isn’t always about big declarations or LinkedIn updates. It’s about asking the hard questions, sometimes quietly, but with the courage to answer them honestly and do something about it.
Heidi’s worked in just about every sector you can imagine: legal, nonprofit, healthcare, HR, executive search… and now, she’s the founder of H.O.L.A. Books, an online bookstore and creative space celebrating Latino and Caribbean voices.
What stood out to me most was how Heidi brings beginner energy everywhere she goes. She’s not afraid to say “I don’t know,” and that’s exactly what’s helped her grow, pivot, and see things clearly.
Sometimes too clearly.
In this episode, we talk about:
Working on the frontlines in community health through the pandemic.
The emotional weight of doing “good work” while also recognizing systemic problems.
Balancing what you want to do vs what you feel you’re supposed to do.
Why telling her story as a writer became a form of healing.
And how the mantra she’s carried since she was 12 is still guiding her now.
Here’s to asking the hard questions, even when it’s scary.
Especially when it’s scary.
Love,
M.
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✨ About Heidi Monika Romer:
Heidi Monika Romer is the founder of H.O.L.A. Books, an independent online bookshop and creative space centering Latino and Caribbean stories and voices. A first-generation American and bicultural leader, Heidi is building a new model in publishing—one rooted in equity, belonging, and cultural celebration.
Through H.O.L.A. Books, she creates space for writers to be seen, for readers to feel at home, and for community to thrive through storytelling.
📚 What’s Helping Me Lately
Heidi and I bonded in part over our love of books. She recommends The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho as the book everyone should read at least once in their life. It’s a classic for a reason.
She suggested I re-read it so I’m in the midst of that now. Heidi was right — it hits different every time.
💖 Thanks for being here!
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